Emily Jo-Anne M. (sheawakens) wrote in in_a_dream,
Emily Jo-Anne M.

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I would like to post a dream that I had a long time ago. I was deep into my eating disorder and cutting at the time. This particular dream was the scariest most realistic feeling dream I ever had. It is like nothing I have ever experienced again. Any thoughts on this?

In my nightmare I was sitting in a chair at my dining room table facing my dad, step mom, my friends and most of the popular people at my school. They were just talking, didn't even notice me. It was like I was invisible. My body was numb, I couldn't feel anything. There was a knife on the table and it was just second nature to me to cut myself. I was thinking I can't feel my body I need to feel it, so I cut myself like crazy until I felt stinging pain in my arms which eventually surrounded my body. Blood was flowing out of my arms and I felt dizzy. The room was spinning and I fell backwards in the chair. No one got up to help me. I could just hear them talking amongst themselves. They didn't even look at me, I just layed there and died. I woke up and immediatly checked my arms. I was so scared, but at the same time hoped that it was real.
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